| Posted 8:55am, Thursday, July 25, 2002 Damn, Hollywood is slow. Two years ago, Ben Stiller, Robert DeNiro and director Jay Roach scored a hit with "Meet the Parents." This year, we’re finally seeing the expected retreads. Let the recycling begin. These rip-offs are beating the actual sequel to the punch. It wouldn’t be so disturbing if they cashed in immediately. Like that direct-to-video company that releases sound alike cartoons as soon as Disney releases them. After all, Disney doesn’t exactly own the name "Pocahontas." First out of the box (if you can call it that) is the fascinating NBC reality program, "Meet My Folks." The premise of the show is that three guys spend a weekend at a woman’s parent’s home, each vying for their approval. A candidate is eliminated each night and on Sunday evening, the parents decide which suitor will win a weeklong vacation with their daughter. This show is interesting if for no other reason than seeing these guys humiliated. The producers pull every skeleton out of these guys’ closets… old teachers, former girlfriends, and beer buddy stories. Some sample embarrassments from the pilot episode: one of the men slept with his girlfriend’s mom; another ex-girlfriend revealed a candidates fetish for spanking and the third man was exposed as a cheater on his SATs. Not exactly point scorers for these guys. The woman’s father grew more and more worried. By the end of Friday evening, he wanted to get three new guys in there and start over. Sunday night, the reluctantly selected the guy who slept with his girlfriend’s mother and cheated on his last girlfriend. What a winner! Last night's episode included champs like the guy who wrote bad checks for a month to ditch creditors and one man who got his best friend drunk so he could sleep with the guy's sister. Where is NBC digging up these jerks?
NBC is running promos for their Fall schedule, which include their second "Parents" rip-off, "In-Laws." The commercials painfully replace the lyrics in "Macarena" with their own. Instead of "Hey… Macarena," we are tortured with "Dennis Fa-Ri-Na!"
My
God, this sounds terrible.
Sitting through "Austin Powers II: The Spy Who Shagged Me" was an exercise in tedium. The same jokes rehashed, almost exactly as they appeared in the first movie… much to the delight of the opening night audience. As I sat there cringing at every old bit, they howled with laughter, nearly wetting themselves. You have to wonder about Mike Myers abilities as a comedian. He’s only had two hits in his career. The first "Wayne’s World" movie and the second "Austin Powers." In both cases, he felt the need to milk their success for all they were worth. In the last eight years, Myers has only starred in three movies; all of them start with the title, "Austin Powers." Somehow, moviegoers knew to steer clear of the second "Wayne’s World," but why do I suspect that the third "Austin Powers" film will break box office records? When is Myers going to show us what else he’s got? He took a step in the right direction when he played a small part as Steve Rubell in "54." Myers needs to do more of that, more drama. When can we expect that Myers to reappear? Certainly not in his next film, a big-screen adaptation of "The Cat in the Hat." Sounds like more of Myers in prosthetic make-up, hamming it up and overacting to the joy of mindless hordes. Before that, he was considering a relaunch of the Pink Panther. Hmmm. A detective who bumbles around wearing different costumes and make-up… Myers really is stretching isn’t he? Worse
yet, we’ll all have to endure the morons who run around spewing
Austinisms: "Oh behave!" and "Yeah baby!" Remember:
Dubya’s favorite movie is "The Spy Who Shagged Me."
He’s also rumored to love "Goldmember." Kinda tells
you why our country in this fucked-up state.
-Ron
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