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Posted 10:02pm, Saturday, April 24, 2004
Guest Blogger: Passenger 58

Posted 10:02pm, Saturday, April 24, 2004

Casting call

by guest blogger, Passenger 58

With few exceptions, today's Hollywood mass-produces shit that is so worthless that it is below my lowest shit-film threshold. Many an Oscar winner has failed to rise above that low threshold. Take Quentin Tarantino, whose shit isn't even vaguely original.

And take "Training Day". (I've been sitting on this for three years, but here goes nevertheless.) Somebody tell me why Denzel Washington earned an Oscar (hell, any award) for tossing F-bombs and muthafucks. Explain to me why any other actor could not have duplicated that performance from the most generic of street/crime scripts. Imagine the casting sessions:

CASTING DIRECTOR 1: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 2: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 1:	State your name, please. Samuel L. Jackson. Read line 3, please. "Aww..AWW, you muthufukkuhs!!" Thank you, Mr. Jackson. Next, please. Name?
ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 2: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 1: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 2: ACTOR:	Laurence Fishburne. Go ahead, please. Top of page four. "Ahmo lock up ALL you nigguhs!!" Thank you, Mr. Fishburne. Next? Wesley Snipes. Please go to the second page. Line 5. "OH, you disloyal foolass bitchmade PUNK!"
CASTING DIRECTOR 1:	Thank you, Mr. Snipes. Who else do we have today?
ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 2: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 1: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 2: ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 1: CASTING DIRECTOR 2: ACTOR:	Will Smith. Top of page one, please. "Ahm duh PO-leese depahtmint!" Very good. Next. Denzel Washington. Go ahead, please. "King Kong got NUFFIN on ME!" Hm! Good. Mr. Washington. Give us line 5 page 2, and also the other page. "OH, you disloyal foolass bitchmade PUNK!" "Ahm duh PO-leese depahtment!"
CASTING DIRECTOR 1:	Let's have you also try... yes, that page in front of you.
ACTOR: CASTING DIRECTOR 1:	"Aww..AWW you muthufukkuhs!!" Thank you very much, Mr. Washington. Well. I think we've got it. I like Denzel.
CASTING DIRECTOR 2:	We "like" Denzel.
CASTING DIRECTOR 1:	Because he's Denzel. We can articulate a very strong case for him. The...range... the...subtleties...look at the way he read "bitchmade punk". You're right, you're right. Who's waiting outside?
CASTING DIRECTOR 2:	We've got...Cuba Gooding, Jr.... Will Smith...Ice Cube....DMX... and that's just this afternoon.
CASTING DIRECTOR 1:	Please tell them thank you and excuse them. I think we're done.

Hope you enjoyed these last two guest blogs by Passenger 58.
I should be back this week sometime. - Ron

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KEYWORDS: Ron Lim, Ron W. Lim, blog, art direction, advertising, photographs, illustration, Spider-man, Amazing Fantasy #15, comics