Posted 10:06pm, Tuesday, December 24, 2002

Twas the night before Christmas....

I've come to the realization that the holidays is all about doing stuff you don't want to do. I guess that I should have realized this by now, but it didn't really hit me until I became a home owner.

I can't stand the thought of driving around a shopping mall parking lot looking for parking. I start shopping for Christmas in January. I use eBay, Amazon, wherever I happen to spy cool stuff. Then I hide it all in my closet until December.

Then the wrapping. I don't mind spending money on gifts, but sitting in the living room, spending a vacation day wrapping presents sucks.

And how many fucking holiday dinners can a person have?

First there's Thanksgiving time. Wednesday night with the in-laws. Thursday night at my folks. Saturday night at my house and Sunday with the Aunt.

Then the Christmas dinners. Last Saturday at my sister-in-laws. Christmas at my house. Sunday at my parents. As if that weren't enough, I got roped into a New Year's Day dinner at the in-laws again.

Bah, humbug!

 



With a couple of days off, I did manage to sneak in my favorite holiday pastime yesterday... movies. One of my finest holiday memories was when I was a freelancer. One December week, I saw eight movies in seven days.

Yesterday, I went to a multiplex at 9:30am and saw both "Gangs of New York" and "Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers."

Who has the cajones I have to sit through TWO three hour epics in a row? I bought my large Coke with free refills and went to work.

I finished those 32 ounces during the first two hours of "Gangs" and spent the last 45 minutes holding it in. I proceeded directly to the Men's room and took a piss that rivaled the piss Animal took in "Revenge of the Nerds, part II."

I decided to skip the free refill for "Rings," but by the time the commercials and previews were over, I had to go again. I spent the next 3 hours holding it in. Again.

I got out of the theater at 5:30pm. And went straight to the Men's room. Again.

 



Tonight I received a touching holiday e-mail with the subject line as follows: "Christmas anal defloration for mr Ron"

The e-mail goes on to read: "Little-Bitchs: Only Exclusive Young Girls (Hardcore/Anal/Blowjob Pics and MPEG Video)."

You'd think they'd at least spell bitches right.

Merry Christmas.

 

 

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