Posted 8:49pm, Friday, October 4, 2002

I don’t get Hollywood.

Last week I watched the Emmy Awards. What a boring bunch of people. The same fucking shows winning all the awards.

The critics were abuzz last year about “Friends” going through a creative renaissance. How so? What character growth did each character go through? Seems to me like the same people doing what they’ve done for eight years. Phoebe’s dumb and Joey’s reeeally dumb. Yeah, I get it.

“West Wing” winning best drama? Who does that show speak to? How is it relevant to me? It’s an old person’s show. I don’t think you see a lot of Gap ads during that hour. Instead, I expect to hear the Dragnet theme for Tums.

Best show my ass. Blah blah blah blah blah. It’s just Emmy voters getting to a comfort level with their nominees. Whatever.

I’ve never seen “The Shield” but it’s always a good sign when someone outside a network wins something. This is good news for Michael Chiklis. He was a pariah in Hollywood for years after making his debut as John Belushi in the feature version of “Wired.” Talk about being an outcast. No one wanted to smear the memory of Belushi, so most anyone who had anything to do with that film got fucked.

I was bummed that “Curb your Enthusiasm” didn’t win anything. I wish the “Soprano” crowd would hang around long enough on Sunday night to see this fucking amazing comedy. At least “24” took home a writing award.

The best stuff on the show was Conan O’Brien’s.

Unfortunately, judging by the uncomfortable titters during his jokes, he probably won’t be invited back. I love that he didn’t modulate his material for the Emmy audience. Reminded me a lot of Letterman’s night hosting the Oscars. Or Chris Rock humiliating pop stars on MTV. Hilarious.

O'Brien did a bit on the Emmy seating chart which included sections for the Gay Mafia, black people who watch “Frasier,” Jerry Orbach’s posse and a women with real breasts. That just kicks ass.

“The show is running a bit long, so they have to cut Bryant Gumbel’s Tribute to Bryant Gumbel.”

Man, you could just feel the room tense up on that one. Killer stuff.