Posted 9:41pm, Monday, January 20, 2003

I’m surprised as Hell no one’s jumped all over this as a headline: PETE TOWNSEND: “THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT!”

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The amazing Fox show “24” just keeps rolling along. This season is even better than the last, with plot twists that completely shock the viewer. This is a show that proudly proclaims “no one is who or what they seem.” It’s like Bobby Brady revealing to his family that he’s a terrorist, then shooting Cindy in the head.

In the second episode, the hero murdered a witness in Federal Protection, then calmly asked for a hacksaw, so he can cut of his head. Last night, a woman murdered her middle-eastern fiancé, revealing she was using him as a front for two years of terrorist activity. Oh, and did I mention it was their wedding day and a nuclear bomb is about to destroy Los Angeles?

This is a fantastic show.

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Just when you thought the reality TV genre was losing steam, FOX rolls out “Joe Millionaire.”

The episodes have fallen into a Bachelor-like lull, but the big pay-off will be seeing these women’s faces as they’re told this so-called millionaire is a $19,000 a year construction worker.

I only wish that they’d tell the women who are not chosen each week. Let’s see how desirable he is then. I can hear their indignation now. Instead of tears of rejection, we’d be getting this….

“ I knew there was something phony about him. “
“ I didn’t like him anyway”
“ I always suspected he was hiding something.”

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In a surprising coup, the WB pulls out not one, but two cool reality programs.

First up, “High School Reunion,” in which they put a ten-year high school reunion in Hawaii for a few weeks and watch the old jealousies and insecurities fly. Every clichés and clique is represented… the jock, the cheerleader, the popular girl, the shy kid, the bully, etc.

It’s great to see how old emotions and perceptions still grip people ten years after high school. Two of the guys still harbor grudges against the bully, who by the sounds of it, was a true asshole.

All the women still pine after the popular jock, even though he is swarmy asshole with designs for bedding each of them. Not to mention his conspicuous pot-belly, which the ladies seem not to see.

The guys all want the popular girl, who while very cute, is hardly a match for the cheerleader who ended up posing for Playboy.

All these people are not attracted to who these people are now, but who they imagined them to be in high school. Truly a fascinating social experiment.

Then we have the less interesting, “The Surreal Life.” This time, they get a house and fill it full of B-list celebrities to live together.

They’ve got Vince Neil, Emmanuel Lewis (Webster), MC Hammer, Cory Feldman, the bitchy Jerri from “Survivor,” some Playboy playmate, the brainy chick with glasses from “Beverly Hills 90210.”

The WB is on FOX’s ass. Of course, I didn’t have a chance to see FOX’s “Man versus Beast.