Hmmm. Four years later....

Well, thanks to the Bush administration we have finally a peaceful, united Middle-East. They are celebrating their first democratically elected leadership and ended the centuries of bloodshed in that region. Our troops were hailed as heroes for bringing an end to Saddam Hussein's reign. Statues of George W. Bush now stand where once there stood the awful reminders of an evil dictator.

Post-9/11, Bush, along with Colin Powell, used the tremendous outpouring of support and goodwill to unite the world's powers. An international coalition, which included every nation on the U.N. charter banded together to bring about world peace.

Domestically, the anthrax killer was brought to justice. Dozens of terrorist cells were discovered and captured. Americans were finally safe and free from the possibility of terrorism. Law enforcement officials from all the agencies participated in unprecedented cooperation to help end terrorist threats. The color-coded alert system was eliminated.

Millions of new jobs were created during three years of economic prosperity, where the stock market rose to record highs. Millions and millions of jobs were created thanks to the administration's new focus on creating domestic jobs. The trade deficit also decreased significantly as more corporations decided to keep their manufacturing in the U.S.

Social enlightenment was the order of day for this leadership, and millions of same sex couples joyfully walked down the aisle. A new era of church leadership not only welcomed this news, but also ended years of abuse by corrupt church officials. New gun control restrictions made our communities safer and crime dipped to record lows.

Medical breakthroughs abound, as great advances in stem cell research are made. The scientific community rejoiced as new sources of funding were made available to develop AIDS and cancer cures. A new vaccine was discovered to counter biological agents such as ricin and anthrax.

Decades of partisanship bickering ended as Bush kept his promise to unite the parties. His new policies and direction helped strengthen the Constitution. He sought not to change that document, but to enforce it with fierce conviction...

...Oh wait... This is the complete opposite of the state of the union right now. We're really fucked. Never mind.

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